Cursed
by Starlight Warrior 1092
Summary: I am cursed, I know that. They call me deaf, mouse-brained... but Softfur calls me Sorrelkit. I can't hear like other cats. Everything is either too quiet to hear, or sounds like a faint whisper. What I want to know is why Dark-eyes is taking me away... Did I do something wrong? He's just repaying me those my evil deeds. I am cursed, but I'm still me... aren't I?


**This is what happens when I explore the mind of a deaf kit. I hint things throughout the story for what will happen near the ending... So have fun! Please review, too, because it makes my day and inspires me to write more.**

**I don't own Warriors. **

It didn't make any sense. Why was he taking me away? I wasn't sure; since he had never taken me anywhere out of our safe-den before. This is where I had always stayed. I think they tried to explain it to me. I listened- I tried really hard to, too! But they all just speak so softly. Sometimes I can hear them when they try really hard... And I do too.

Even though no sense came from being taken from the safe-den, I got up and followed anyway. The tomcat that was always there, I called him Dark-eyes because his eyes were darker than any of the other cats in the safe-home, told me to follow. I had no choice, my mother Softfur- I knew that was her name because the tomcat had said so loudly enough for me to hear him- said I had to listen to him. If I recall correctly, she said something about him being my father. I guess that makes sense...

As I left my safe-nest where Softfur and Silence always slept, he pulled me with his jaws out of the safe-den. I cried out slightly, not happy with him being around me. He was never around when he found that I was different from other cats. Or, that's what he had told mother. And sister, Silence. I could tell that she heard him, but no matter how much she moves her mouth all she says is silence. If he thinks that I' so different, he should say something about _her!_

As Dark-eyes takes me through the safe-home, I look around at all of the other cats in our 'Clan'. Some, like Flaming-fur- the brightest orange cat I've ever seen- and Loud-growl,- the meanest she cat in the Clan who always screeches and hisses at me if I make a mistake- give me these mean looks. They look at me like I'm worthless. I can't stand that look. I hate it. One cat- Healing-herbs, the cat that helped Softfur in the safe-den so many times- looks at me with pity. But he has nothing to pity. I'm strong, I _am!_

I hold my head high, keeping my eyes and nose wide open so I don't run into anything that I don't hear. Some cats act like they don't hear... like me, but they do. I can tell by looking at them. There's no reason for that, in my mind. If they've been gifted with hearing that's better than mine, they shouldn't waste it.

"Pay attention!" I catch the quiet meow, yet full of anger and venom, that came from Dark-eyes. His dark brown- almost black- eyes are watching me, and I shiver under that gaze. Most cats don't always catch the slightest sound, but I have to. I always catch the slightest sound, even if 'slightest' is different for them and for me.

I can't glare at Dark-eyes like I want to, so I just turn around for a heartbeat to give Softfur and Silence one last glance. Softfur's head is hung and she looks sad, while Silence is looking at me with wide eyes from the safe-den. I love Silence- she's a great cat, even though our communication is different. We don't use words, we use feelings and movement. And expression. We've had a lot of fun playing monster and savior... or, that's what I call it. I always wonder what she calls it. Maybe someday I'll find out.

I try to call out to them, to tell them that everything's okay, but it only sounds like a squeak coming from me. A faint, tiny squeak. That's all I hear from me. I call myself Hear-whisper, but I know that Dark-eyes doesn't call me that. I've heard a lot of what others call me.

Dark-eyes calls me Sorrelkit. I don't know what that's supposed to mean- what's a sorrel? And a kit... that's what I am. But I still don't think that makes sense.

Deaf is what most cats call me. But I know that's not my name, since Softfur never calls me that. I've also been called mouse-brain... but I don't know what that is either. Is that a kind of mouse?

Sun-eyes, another cat in the 'Clan', always watches me with some sort of interest in his eyes. Oh, his eyes! They're bright like the blazing sun! I wish my eyes were like that. But... I've never seen my eyes. Dark-eyes said something about not being an 'apprentice', so I think that Sun-eyes wants me to be his 'apprentice'. For some reason he didn't like Dark-eyes. I don't blame him, though.

Healing-herbs was watching me too. He always seems to be watching me, or poking at me in some sort of way. Cold-glance, the one that everyone seems to look up to, along with Fear-claws, the cat that frightens me most in the 'Clan' due to his giantly long claws- weren't anywhere to be seen. Huh, they never seem to be around. Why does everyone look up to them so much if they're never around?

I turned away from the watchful eyes of Sun-eyes and Healing-herbs. They always seemed to watch me like Softfur did, just without as much love in it. I turned back to Dark-eyes, who once more had an unhappy look on that face of his. I couldn't glare at him, I couldn't. He scared me too much. He talks meanly with Softfur, and I don't like it at all. He makes her unhappy.

Taking a cautious step out of the safe-home, I looked around, eyes wide, looking for danger. I didn't see any, so with fur on end I continued following Dark-eyes. I didn't like that I had to follow him. I didn't like those things above me that dropped leaves... they frightened me. Why were they so tall? Were they waiting to pounce on us at any moment? I couldn't ask Dark-eyes... he wouldn't understand my fears. He would just whisper _mouse-brain_ again. I think it's an insult, since every cat that's mean to me seems to say it to me. And those others who aren't very mean to me sometimes say it too- to me and to others.

I watched as Dark-eyes padded forward some more, and stumbled after him. His legs were so much longer than mine that I had some trouble keeping up, and I lost any way of trying to get back to the safe-home on my own because of all of the turns that we took. I didn't even know that if I ran straight ahead I if I would get to the safe-home or not. Everyone calls the safe-home 'safe', so I'm supposed to stay there where nothing can hurt me. Why is Dark-eyes taking me away from the safe-home? He makes no sense to me at all.

As we got further and further away from safety, I began to wonder more and more about why this was happening. Was it because I wasn't good enough for him? Was he going to leave me out in this place... what to call it... this... fear-place? Was I supposed to find my way back to the safe-home to be able to prove to him how strong I am? Or how brave I am, maybe? Whatever it was, I was up for the test!

Jumping gracefully over some twigs, I tried to match his pace to show him my strength. My head was held bravely, showing him my fearlessness. Wasn't I good enough for him?

Suddenly, Dark-eyes froze and I bumped into his hind leg, leaping backwards in case he might be mad about it. Most cats in the safe-home got mad if I bumped into them. He turned to me, yes, with anger in his eyes. But he didn't say anything- his mouth never moved. And I think that's what scared me the most.

I backed up some, giving him some space, as my eyes darted around the clearing. Where was I? I couldn't be sure of it. I had never been here before, nor had I ever heard anyone mention any place like this ever before. Or at least, not that I can recall hearing about...

That's when I noticed his mouth move. I listened as hard as I could, and finally heard some of his words, quiet like a whisper.

"...time is now. We can... easy way or the hard way." Those words didn't sound good, and I stared at my father with eyes wide, wishing I knew what he had been saying. Only part of the conversation made no sense at all. And all I wanted was for him to take me back to the safe-home, back to Softfur. But he didn't.

A grin crossed his face, showing each one of those sharp, pointed yellow teeth. I shark down away from him, eyes getting wider and ears folding back, wishing I didn't hear the next thing that he said.

"The hard way it is, then."

His claws shot out, shining silver in the light of the sun-time. Something about those claws kept me from running away the moment I saw them. An instinct burned deep inside me- runaway, or fight back. No one had to tell me about it, I knew instantly what to do. My own claws slid out- pitifully small compared to those of my father, but better than nothing. I had no chance at winning this battle- I _knew_ that. But I couldn't run away, not now, not ever. And I would never get another chance to.

Dark-eyes shot out at me quickly, his claws scraping down my side as I sidestepped. I _had_ learned things from watching those older than myself. I wasn't _blind_. He could hear his faint growl as he glared at me and pinned me down.

Struggling to get breath into me, I looked up into those dark as night eyes of his. I couldn't see any silver orbs in his eyes like there were in the sky when it got dark. Only darkness, consumed with fear, hatred and a slight tinge of guilt. Nothing more, nothing less. I was bad, and he was repaying me for my evil deeds. If I had been good, StarClan- that's what they called the good cats in the sky, those tiny little dots- they would've let me hear things like everyone else. But since I am evil, I lost hearing to keep my power from growing. I've heard Dark-eyes say that before. And it's true, I know it is.

His teeth neared my throat, and I knew that it was all over. I was ready to disappear. I welcomed the pain and didn't make any sound as it was all over...

Or so I thought. Pain shot through me, taking all of my willpower to keep from screaming in pain. But then it was all gone. I looked up into my father's eyes- they were full of grief and pain. Had he not wanted to hurt me? He must've chosen to... he must've.

"It's for the best," he whispered, silver drops of rain in the corners of his eyes. I didn't know if I wanted to believe him or not, since I usually would rather hear what Softfur has to say about it.

I got to my paws, loving how there was no pain at all. No cuts, no blood. Was Dark-eyes just making it so I couldn't be hurt? Was that what all fathers did? Whether or not that was true, I started heading off at a fast sprint, not wanting to feel any more of that pain. Dark-eyes didn't follow me; he didn't even stare coldly as I ran away.

I shouldn't run... I should face him again. I know I should. But I'm too scared to, too scared of the pain it might cause me. I was alone, and that scared me more than being with Dark-eyes. But before I knew it, I had found the safe-home again!

I raced inside, fur fluffed up, but no one seemed to care if I was hurt or not. Well, I didn't think I was hurt, but I had felt so much pain... So I guessed I was. Most cats had left the clearing already.

Sun-eyes was still there though, and he looked really mad. I hadn't seen him so mad before! His claws ripped at the ground, and I felt bad for him. Had something happened that made him so mad? I hoped not.

I padded over to him, but he didn't seem to care. I didn't mean much to anyone, so it didn't really bother me much. I could hear a loud growl rumbling in this throat, which startled me because everyone was usually pretty quiet about their growls. I backed away from him, a little frightened.

I turned and raced back towards the safe-den, my tail tucked under my belly. Sun-eyes _never_ scared me, but today was just different. I looked around for Softfur, seeing her curled up with Silence.

"Mommy, why...? Why?" I was so shocked at hearing Silence's cry. She couldn't make a sentence at the moment, but I was shocked to hear her speaking at all! Was that why they were taking me from the safe-den- to give Silence a chance to talk?

"I don't know," Softfur whispered- what I was used to- as she stroked Silence's fur. But wait- she can't be called 'Silence' anymore, since she's speaking. "Mosskit, it's alright. I'll look after you, nothing will ever happen to you. Riverstorm won't lay a claw on you, ever."

Mosskit. Soft as moss, I suppose. That's what I can call Silence now! And it matches what Softfur calls me... Sorrelkit. But why don't they notice me?

I opened my mouth to make any sort of noise I could, loud enough for them to hear but not for me to hear. One of the only words I knew how to say from heart. "Mommy!"

I jumped a little at the loudness of my voice, surprised at hearing myself. Softfur didn't even glance over at me, but Silence- _Mosskit_ did. She looked at me, eyes wide.

"S-Sorrelkit?" Mosskit choked out, silver rain streaming from her eyes too, just like Dark-eyes had been. Crying? What for?

"Softfur," Mosskit mumbled. "What happens...? StarClan cats are starry, right?"

"Yes Mosskit," Softfur meowed. "StarClan cats have pelt coated in stars, with their eyes glowing like moons. That's where your sister is, Mosskit. Walking among the stars with all of StarClan. She's not coming back, Mosskit."

I listened; shocked I could hear so much. What was Softfur talking about? I'm right here! I'm not covered in stars, am I? For the first time, I looked down at my pelt, shocked at seeing the small speckles that dotted my fur. My eyes widened, and fear rushed through me. I was... dead?

I turned back to Mosskit, giving her a sad smile. _I'm sorry Silence, but I won't be coming back. I... I'm sorry. You'll have to watch out for Softfur for me, and find someone else to play monster and savior with. Don't... don't be sad, sister. I'll watch over you and Mommy from the sky, I promise._

It seemed that she had heard my thoughts, the words I knew not how to speak. Mosskit looked like she was going to cry.

"Goodbye, Sorrelkit," Mosskit whispered, closing her eyes and burring her face in Softfur's pelt.

"ThunderClan has lost a valuable warrior." The voice that spoke behind me made me turn around, fur bristling and claws out. A cat with a similar pelt to mine, star-coated. "Come, little Sorrelkit. It is time to walk among the stars."

I stared at the cat, not moving. _I don't know her..._

"I am Moonwhisper, your mother's mother. I am here to take my granddaughter to the stars. Sadly," Moonwhisper meowed, shaking her head, "it is long before you should've come to join us. You had such a destiny, young one. Leafblaze was going to train you to become one of the best warriors in the Clan, even without hearing."

Sun-eyes was going to train me? I was going to be a great warrior? Dark-eyes took that all away... Why would he do that to me? Did he want me to fail?

"Your father loved you very much," Moonwhisper meowed, pressing her nose to mine. "You must remember that. He thought that he was saving you from a life that would prove too hard for you. He thought that he was protecting you. You may hear now, young Sorrelkit. And speak, too."

"I'm scared." The words fell from my jaws before I knew what I was saying. I wanted Mosskit, my little sister Silence, to be at my side, helping me. She always helped me so much... "I'll watch over her... Mosskit, Silence."

Moonwhisper nodded, her eyes glowing brightly. "From the stars..." My vision was filled with a bright light, and when I opened my eyes, stars were all around me, and I finally felt free from my curse.


End file.
